‘Koi Kaam Chota Ya Bada Nahi Hota’: Gaurav’s Story

“Koi kaam chota ya bada nahi hota,” Gaurav had said when asked why he chose to become a mehendi artist. It means that he believes no work is too big or small to be done. This 19-year-old is one of the young people associated with Breakthrough Trust who is leading change by example among his community members in Dabua colony, Faridabad. 

Born in Kasganj, Uttar Pradesh, Gaurav’s childhood was marred by his father’s acts of abuse towards his mother. When his mother understood that Gaurav’s father’s attitude may not improve, they left to start a new life in Faridabad, with the help of her sister. 

Gaurav, a brilliant student, quickly developed an interest in drawing, sketching and mehendi designing. When she saw his arts teacher encouraging him, his mother allowed Gaurav to pursue a three-month course on mehendi design making. 

Although a lot of men work as mehendi artists, Gaurav’s family members ridiculed him for not doing something ‘more masculine’. However, with the help of YouTube videos, Gaurav made them aware of how men too practise the art, ultimately changing their minds. Addressing how society’s perceptions about career aspirations as gendered, Gaurav says that no one should be humiliated for the kind of work they choose to do and appeals to all to find value in people without associating preconceived notions to their identities. 

His journey with Breakthrough, which started in 2017, was instrumental in building his confidence and negotiation skills. Through his engagement with Breakthrough, Gaurav understood about the different kinds of gender-based violence and how patriarchy harms not just women, but also men. 

Equipped with this knowledge, Gaurav felt strong enough to stand up to his elder brothers, who physically abused him often. He recollects how he negotiated with his mother to help him take a stand against his brothers, who’d also often emasculate him on the basis of his decision to learn and practice mehendi design application. “You were physically abused by your husband. You normalized it by enduring it but we do not have to repeat the same abusive patterns,” Gaurav had reasoned with his mother, so she could support him in taking a stand against his brothers’ abuse. 

He recollects how he negotiated with his mother to help him take a stand against his brothers, who’d also often emasculate him on the basis of his decision to learn and practice mehendi design application. “You were physically abused by your husband. You normalized it by enduring it but we do not have to repeat the same abusive patterns,” Gaurav had reasoned with his mother, so she could support him in taking a stand against his brothers’ abuse. 

Armoured with the confidence of his mother, the next time when his brothers attempted to raise their hands at him again, Gaurav recounted that he had warned them that “mujhe police ko call karne mei zyaada time nahi lagega” (It will not take me a lot of time to raise a complaint at the police station if you hurt me again.) 

In 2021, Gaurav participated in Breakthrough’s safety audit through which he and other young people had assertively negotiated with the local councillor of Dabua for the installation of street lights and increased measures for safety on the streets. 

In 2021, Gaurav participated in Breakthrough’s safety audit through which he and other young people had assertively negotiated with the local councillor of Dabua for the installation of street lights and increased measures for safety on the streets. 

Today, Gaurav is an established mehendi artist who is also shifting gender norms in his community. Already widely popular in the local community, Gaurav has just wrapped up a busy schedule due to the wedding season that has recently got over.

As for Gaurav’s brothers, he says that they are more supportive now than ever. 

For Gaurav, realizing his potential would not have been would not have been possible without your support for our work. As for us, we are proud we can enable a space for more young people to become leaders of change.